Wtf is Weihnachten - Part 3

Let me tell you something about the mutual giving of presents in Germany. Presents are given on various occasions, most common are birthday and Christmas. And this is what I want to talk about. You can distinguish between different levels of gifting:

1. Birthday among family
   Presents of parents for their children are usually more expensive than what they get back. During childhood I was often asked to create a gift in a do-it-yourself fashion, like a drawing or photo collage, baking something or I don’t know, I wasn’t good at. Parents are most pleased (or pretend to be so) about self made stuff. The older the children get, the more expensive presents they can afford, so at some point there can be equality.
2. Birthday among friends
   Now here is a rule. The value of your gift for a friend should roughly be the value of your friend’s gift for you. This is not always easy to achieve and it’s not like you’re supposed to compare price tags, but your friend can feel slightly uncomfortable by receiving a collector’s edition DVD box after having gifted you with a decorated diary two month ago. Try to keep the balance and think really hard what he/she could like or use!
3. Christmas among family
   The value rule doesn’t really work here since you can not react on the given present before giving yours. So this rule aside, everything is possible. Which makes finding a present even worse. There are typical Christmas presents like thick clothing, books or seasonal decoration, but often high sums are used on electronics or things the other one had been saving money for a long time. Christmas is more about fulfilling dreams than birthday is. And successfully hide your presents from your family’s hungry eyes until Christmas Eve. Oh, and chocolate!
4. Christmas among friends
   First of all: Just bluntly ask your friends if you are going to give presents to each other on Christmas. If so, the value depends on how close you are. This is hard to estimate, so the easiest solution is to agree on one kind of present and basically buy the same, but personalize it before giving (and pay lots of attention on the wrapping) or you agree on a price limit.

So here is a special case: I’m going to bring my tandem partner along to my parents’ house for Christmas and of course she is going to be included completely, which means she will receive presents as well. I told my parents what could be useful to her and made sure it’s not too expensive since Koreans feel burdened easily ;)

Now what are you supposed to give in return to parents of a friend? First of: don’t worry! You are a guest and the pure gesture of bringing a present counts. This is slightly different from Korea, in Germany we don’t usually bring things along for the host (even though I like the custom). So no orange juice or cake please :) Try to go for something traditional Korean if you can: decoration, snacks, I don’t know, you’re the expert. If not at hand, try something small and local and wrap it nicely. Ask for your friends opinion and remember: Don’t spend too much money!

Miriam for The Koins


Part I - Timing
Part II - Custom